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George in Cat | Morning

Cat in George | Jones Tower, 8 P.M.

  • Cat in George | Jones Tower, 8 P.M.   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    Quote:
    “Hi. How did the lame runs go?”

    last runs?

    Quote:
    The one. He told me...

    Maybe "That one."

    I agree it's unclear whom CiG is calling.
  • Cat in George | Jones Tower, 8 P.M.   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    It did take some effort to decipher that Cat called Lena. The clue is that they are talking about her staying in George's room with the door either open or shut and unlocked (which comes at the bottom of the passage). This harkens back to the discussion Cat and George had about Lena touching the male body while Cat slept so she could see Cat inside.
  • Cat in George | Jones Tower, 8 P.M.   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    Would be nice to have a clue as to who CiG is calling. Maybe if I paged back a bit I could figure it out, but right now, I'm clueless.

    Maybe something like "I stare at Frank's number on the phone for a moment, then hit ’dial’. Here goes nothing." ... where "Frank" is replaced by the name of the character CiG is calling.

Cat in George | The Oval, walking back to Dreese

  • Cat in George | The Oval, walking back to Dreese   2 years 11 months ago
     
    Fun with Words   ()
    This is a great scene. Like the other two comments, I was at first confused who was talking. Partially that arose simply from having been so long since I read the "Lena Pirate Parade." I got it the second read, partially because Maddog's comment sparked my memory.

    I think the confusion arises in part from paragraphing. Take the sentences beginning with "I thought about..." and then "Hey, I didn't..." Both are CiG, but without text to confirm that, the new paragraph implies a new speaker. (Okay, so the first paragraph is a "thought". You know what I mean!) Toward the end of this chapter, we have several similar paragraphs: same voice, speaker, and subject. I'm not suggesting how to improve it. That's your problem, SR!

    Oh, and you are absolutely right, SR, that you want to keep the brevity for the flow. You did that well. Balance additional words with that in mind. Hey, if writing were easy, everyone could do it!

    Again, though, this is definitely a "winner scene." I love the character and plot building.

    Quote:
    “Huh. Both sides, eh? Lucky bastard.”


    In context, this is one of the best lines ever. If only Charles knew...
  • Cat in George | The Oval, walking back to Dreese   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    Similar comment to above ... wasn't quite sure who was talking.

    I think the pirate suit date with a girl thing ... was referencing Cat-in-George's clothes shopping with Lena (it was Lena, right?) that sort of morphed into a date with Lena before CiG realized it.

    It seems like Cat likes (or doesn't mind) the idea of dating Lena, even though she's mentally a girl stuck in George's body.

    And I see Charles being a little confused that "George" has checked him out, when in reality it's Cat's consciousness that was doing the checking. But of course, Charles isn't in on that secret.

George in Cat | Dreese Lab

  • George in Cat | Dreese Lab   2 years 11 months ago
     
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    No, I think this is contemporary. Charles is using this old-fashioned thing called "books," if you've ever heard of those. This "archaic approach" sets off banter in the ranks, with the supporting voice (Diana?) making a somewhat snide comment about "inter-netting" as a whimsical acknowledgment of the 21st century.

    Close enough for government work, Rob?

Cat in George

  • Cat in George   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    The "Maybe we should talk about something else first" is coming from Cat (in George). This whole passage is supposed to be Cat (in George)'s perspective, so since the paragraph starts with the first person perspective and the dialogue goes with it, it's Cat speaking.

    I don't think the statement needs to be a new paragraph. The dialogue continues the interior monologue that Cat was having. Also, Cat (in George) is the one who is doing okay with the transition tonight. It's George (in Cat) [maybe we can use fGeorge and mGeorge, fCat and mCat as a determinant instead of CiG and GiC?] who is struggling and I doubt would have the wherewithal to change topics.

    And Rob has been doing his pronoun soup thing again. It's intentional, trying to show the blurring lines between the genders. Cat and George are having a hard time keeping the gender of the other person straight in their thoughts.
  • Cat in George   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()

    He finishes the sentence together with me. “—what happens when you assume.”

    I get up and hug him. He hugs me back. I look at him. Better, but not great. “Maybe we should talk about something else first?”

    “Probably. So how was your day?”

    “Lena is going to stay over tomorrow. She didn’t like the open door suggestion, but she scoffed at the idea of not doing this.”

    “Oh, good!”


    Struggled a little with who's speaking which line here.

    I'm thinking that “Maybe we should talk about something else first?” is George-in-Cat, but not positive. I think part of what throws me off is the early part of the paragraph is Cat-in-George's inner thoughts. To me, the speech that follows should then be CiG, since it didn't start a new paragraph. Honestly can't recall if that's the grammatically correct way, but since the "speaker" changed, that's how I'd do it.

    Also, the pronoun changes throw me.

    He looks relieved.
    He’s upset.
    He finishes the sentence ...
    I get up and hug him. He hugs me back. I look at him.

    I look at her.
    She smiles.
    She grabs my hand.


    All of these are from Cat-in-George's perspective, referencing George-in-Cat, but with both male and female pronouns.

George in Cat | Jones Tower, 8 P.M.

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