Recent comments

George in Cat | Dreese Lab, lunch time

  • George in Cat | Dreese Lab, lunch time   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    ‘Hey, I thought you were dating that soul-swapped girl?’

    Assuming that this would be another Consistorium member? Otherwise, how would they know Cat was soul-swapped? And would Mark have told other Consistorium members about the swap, or can they just "see" that there is something up with Cat?

    As we walk, she asks me about a lot about Cat.

    Reads awkward ... maybe scratch the bolded "about".

    Also, what would George know about Cat that Diana, her friend, doesn't? Unless Diana's asking about how Cat's doing in George's world?
  • George in Cat | Dreese Lab, lunch time   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    It’s hard to prove negatives, but it really seems no one else has cooked up a trick similar what I’m writing up.

    You're missing a "to": has cooked up a trick similar to what I’m writing up

    Diana asks me, “So, can I abduct you for lunch?”

    Nice word choice: abduct

    Him looking at his papers isn’t quite hiding his smile.

    This sentence is awkward.

    I like the scene in general. I'm still having a hard time with the rapidity with which everyone accepts things. It's like they just fly right through whatever adjustment they are supposed to be making to accept the new reality revealed to them.

Cat in George | Dreese Lab

Cat in George | Jones Tower, 8 P.M.

Cat in George | Nosker House

  • Cat in George | Nosker House   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    It's not clear that "You're in a hurry" is being said by Mark. I had to rely on context clues to decipher the speaker then go back and reread it.

    Yes! It's the double. Cat and George were once one! I was right. *dances the happy dance of awesomesauce*


    ;) :P

Cat in George | The Oval, walking back to Dreese

  • Cat in George | The Oval, walking back to Dreese   2 years 11 months ago
     
    untitled comment   ()
    I got lost in the dialogue again, trying to figure who said what. I was able to follow well enough so I caught the major points. But where did the date with a girl come into it?
    “I guess you could. Speaking of, you interested in grabbing a movie some time?”
    I look at him. “Is that a date?”
    He looks back. “It could be.”
    ...
    “Aww, man. So, that date…”
    “Is a girl.”
    “Sorry. I’m being nosy.”
    “It’s OK. If I’m honest, I have looked at you.”


    Is this Cat telling Charles she's dating a girl and isn't open to dating anyone else right now? Or jsut that she's only interested in girls? I can't figure it out. And I find it confusing when you throw in:

    Damn. “That pirate suit on Sunday…”
    “That was a date?”
    “That was a date.”
    “Sorry. I didn’t know.”

Cat in George | Dreese Lab, lunch time

George in Cat | Dreese Lab

Pages