Cat in George
The Oval, walking back to Dreese

We’re walking back from lunch, still discussing possible applications of the work we’re doing and one-upping into more and more speculative stuff.

Charles says, “Oh come on, that couldn’t work. Way too many reflections.”

“Not on a spaceship.”

“You’re doing a sci-fi movie!”

“You could make a pretty decent movie that way.”

“I guess you could. Speaking of, you interested in grabbing a movie some time?”

I look at him. “Is that a date?”

He looks back. “It could be.”

Damn. “That pirate suit on Sunday…”

“That was a date?”

“That was a date.”

“Sorry. I didn’t know.”

I thought about asking you out a few times before I got swapped here. Never did; you didn’t seem interested at all. And now… Now you’re no Lena.

But I just tell him, “Hey, I didn’t tell you before. Glad to see you’re not telepathic.”

That gets a smile. “Guess not. It would help a lot if I was.”

“It’d also be pretty creepy for everybody else.”

“True. Guess it wouldn’t work if I told everyone I’d only use my powers responsibly?”

Sure. “ ‘Trust me, I have blue eyes?’ ”

“Exactly.”

“Not a chance.”

“Aww, man. So, that date…”

That date shows how different everything has become. “Is a girl.”

“Sorry. I’m being nosy.”

Oh. He wants to know whether he guessed right. “It’s OK. If I’m honest, I have looked at you.”

For a meaning of I you’ll never know.

He grins. “Huh. Both sides, eh? Lucky bastard.”

Heh. I doubt you’d agree with yourself, if you knew the whole story.

But would I agree with him?

Chard's picture
I got lost in the dialogue again, trying to figure who said what. I was able to follow well enough so I caught the major points. But where did the date with a girl come into it?
“I guess you could. Speaking of, you interested in grabbing a movie some time?”
I look at him. “Is that a date?”
He looks back. “It could be.”
...
“Aww, man. So, that date…”
“Is a girl.”
“Sorry. I’m being nosy.”
“It’s OK. If I’m honest, I have looked at you.”


Is this Cat telling Charles she's dating a girl and isn't open to dating anyone else right now? Or jsut that she's only interested in girls? I can't figure it out. And I find it confusing when you throw in:

Damn. “That pirate suit on Sunday…”
“That was a date?”
“That was a date.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know.”
Similar comment to above ... wasn't quite sure who was talking.

I think the pirate suit date with a girl thing ... was referencing Cat-in-George's clothes shopping with Lena (it was Lena, right?) that sort of morphed into a date with Lena before CiG realized it.

It seems like Cat likes (or doesn't mind) the idea of dating Lena, even though she's mentally a girl stuck in George's body.

And I see Charles being a little confused that "George" has checked him out, when in reality it's Cat's consciousness that was doing the checking. But of course, Charles isn't in on that secret.
Fun with Words
This is a great scene. Like the other two comments, I was at first confused who was talking. Partially that arose simply from having been so long since I read the "Lena Pirate Parade." I got it the second read, partially because Maddog's comment sparked my memory.

I think the confusion arises in part from paragraphing. Take the sentences beginning with "I thought about..." and then "Hey, I didn't..." Both are CiG, but without text to confirm that, the new paragraph implies a new speaker. (Okay, so the first paragraph is a "thought". You know what I mean!) Toward the end of this chapter, we have several similar paragraphs: same voice, speaker, and subject. I'm not suggesting how to improve it. That's your problem, SR!

Oh, and you are absolutely right, SR, that you want to keep the brevity for the flow. You did that well. Balance additional words with that in mind. Hey, if writing were easy, everyone could do it!

Again, though, this is definitely a "winner scene." I love the character and plot building.

Quote:
“Huh. Both sides, eh? Lucky bastard.”


In context, this is one of the best lines ever. If only Charles knew...

LL

Rob's picture
I've made a little more of the thinking explicit. I hope that anchors the conversation better.

@LL, "best line": I will confess to a lingering smile after that line found me and said it wanted into the conversation.